I’m afraid that I’m unable
To let my guard down
I’m afraid I’m gonna drown
Past experiences have made me tough
So much that indifference is all that’s left
You could consider it theft
I was hoping it’d come naturally
But I’m afraid it never will
Happiness isn’t my strongest skill
All I can do is keep on trying
With no other alternative
I want to see if it’s affirmative
The poem ‘Guard up guard down’ is about not having feelings in romantic endeavors. It’s about wanting to feel something, but being unable to even though your partner might seem perfect on paper.
I thought you’d let me in your space
But your friends chose to replace
Me with their hidden agenda
We’d met before
Rumors of mutual adore
Turned to awkward dust
I didn’t care at all
But you saw them as a fly on the wall
Watching us to your disdain
How come you didn’t agree
That even though they could see
It didn’t matter
‘Fly on the wall’ is a poem about being afraid of the public eye. About thinking that you’re watched all the time and making your decisions based on this understanding.
‘Few’ is the third of a four-part series.
It’s easy to hate someone’s fame
Walking through the gate of blame
I want our fate to be the same
But I guess I’ll have to wait to take your name
Will we ever soulmate playing this game?
In the right date, weather will tame
‘Blame’ is about looking outward and resonating blame at anyone else than yourself.
The water is wet over here,
I don’t see anything that is clear
‘Water’ is one of the shorter and abstract poems.
‘Many’ is the second of a four-part series.
As soon as I see your smile
I worry of hurting you
Like I’ve been too
As soon as I feel my smile
I’ll want to calm down
Consider if it’s forced and turns into a frown
‘Trapped’ is about being afraid of hurting someone whilst still wanting to see where the relationship goes and the dichotomy this creates.
I distance myself
Because I’ve been hurt before
Oh boy have I been hurt
It’s stuck deep inside my core
It’s hard for me
To feel anything at all
I want this excessively
But I’m still waiting for her call
I wish it was possible
To close this box
But first I need to open it and see
Before I’ll ever be able to find its locks
How history repeats itself
Help me resolve it
Mere seconds before the clock strikes twelve
‘Distanced’ is a poem about being ready to move on but not being able to. It’s about how it affects any potential relationship.
‘Fake’ is the first of a four-part series.