Janzajma poetry bipolar

The gray between the black and white

Sometimes I feel bipolar
without any middle ground
it’s either all in or fold
Trapped in my mind, I feel bound.

Is it me or do people relate
either LOL’ing or crying weekly
every Wednesday is both
I try to find sense in acting weakly

Whether the argued reasons are
alcohol, childhood, or inevitability
it all returns to self-pity
Especially when I try to be witty

I try not to be the ordinary man
but the simple man
No one’s shown me how to act

The inner fight of blame
it’s hard to see behind the black and white
inner control of honor and shame
Looking ahead things are gray, at least I hope they might

Author’s note:

‘The gray between the black and white’ was a piece I wrote during a time where I had extreme mood swings. I could go from having the best time with my friends to being completely down and depressed in a blink of an eye. For a long time I couldn’t figure out what caused these ‘demons’, as I liked to call them, to come out. After a great amount of self-reflection they don’t come out as often and when they do I’ve become much better at handling it. Accepting that you have issues is important and talking to your friends about it helps as well.

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